Just a few weeks ago, I wrote a post about the agony of waiting that comes with adoption. What I didn't mention in that post was that I had just sent our family's adoption profile to a prospective birth mother and was anxiously waiting to find out if she would choose us or not. Well, she did!
When Darling and I first agreed to pursue a domestic adoption, we began to pray ceaselessly for our baby, her birth family, and for God's will about the whole thing to be crystal clear to us. I prayed that the birth parents and we would have complete peace about the decisions, and that none of us would have any significant doubt about the match. While it probably sounds rather cliché to say, I knew it was right from the moment I saw the birth mother's name in the subject line of the email from our wonderful adoption consultant. It was a match at first sight on my part. (Darling's too, once he got the scoop.) There were still occasional moments of fear that things wouldn't work out, but I knew all along that this girl was the one who was carrying our baby. Thankfully, that solidified even more when we talked to her on the phone a few days later, and again when we met in person a few days after that. I truly love that woman, and not just because she gave us the sweetest gift in the whole world.
Literally days after our hurried first meeting (which was not supposed to take place until the following week, but the birth mother insisted we meet sooner "just in case"-- thank goodness!), we got word that she was in labor and we did our best to rush to the hospital. By the time we got there, our daughter had arrived! Because our birth mother is so awesome, we hung out with her and the baby for hours and hours those first few days. We all kept saying how perfect and natural the whole situation was, even though adoption isn't really a very natural thing. It's pretty weird to parent a person who just hours before was inside a different woman, but it didn't really feel weird. When I saw the baby for the first time, I knew without a doubt she was my daughter, and I loved her just as much as I did the first time I saw my other kids. I wasn't expecting that part to come so easily or naturally, so it was a welcome relief. I didn't know her at all yet (as opposed to biological kids, whom I'd been able to talk to and feel wiggling around for several months prior), but I loved her completely.
The days that followed were exhausting and stressful and overwhelming. I think some of it was due to all the triggers that took me back to when Osias was in the hospital. There's something about driving away from a hospital without your baby for the first time... It just stinks. In spite of the challenges, everything went pretty smoothly and we ended up with a beautiful and charming little girl!
Because we love our daughter's birth mother and of course our daughter, we have chosen to keep a lot of the details of the adoption private. We just feel like it is not our story to tell, so it will be up to our little girl to decide whether or not she wants to share her birth story when she grows up. And of course her birth mother is free to tell or not tell her side of the story to whomever she'd like. I will say that her birth mother is beautiful and smart, and we are happy to have her in our family now. Any woman who can do what she did is simply amazing, and I will always admire and respect the courage and strength she has shown.
In the meantime, I am loving all the comments from strangers about how great I look for having a newborn. Ha!
