When We Compare

If you're anything like me, you most likely make a difficult situation even worse by donning a poor attitude to go with it. Mine tends to fluctuate between anger and an intense, mopey kind of sadness. I allow my emotions to cripple me and prevent me from even looking for the hope and joy that can always be found in any situation. I often do this through comparing myself and/or my circumstances to others.

If you look for it, you will certainly find at least one news story every day about a child who has been abused, abandoned, or brutally murdered -- often by their own parents. Then, if you dig a little deeper, you can find mind-blowing and heart-sickening statistics about how many unborn babies are killed each year through abortion. You can even look around you in your own circle of acquaintances, and I can guarantee you'd find at least one person who doesn't appreciate or deserve the child/children they have.

But all these people who don't want or don't deserve children still manage to have them, while we who so desperately wanted our babies did not get to keep them. It isn't fair. It hurts. And that sort of thinking only wedges the gap between ourselves now and ourselves as we could be. There will always be people who are more or less deserving than we are, and comparison will get us nowhere we want to go. When I start comparing, it only makes me feel worse and sort of plants me into my grief instead of letting God lead me through my grief and toward something better. He's the One in charge, not me. He's the One who knows how the story ends, and I have no right to tell Him what is or isn't fair.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." It's a common saying, often plastered all over Pinterest boards or cutesy wall-hangings available on Etsy, but it is one I don't heed enough. I can't change my circumstances. I can't bring my babies back. But I can honor their short lives by truly living my own, with joy and hope. Let others walk their own paths, as I do my best to try to be graceful and avoid stumbling along my own. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding...

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